In June I will officially be two years post-op and so much has happened to me in that time. I've lost a whopping 13 stones 7lbs (82.5Kg)! On the 7th of March I gave birth to my beautiful daughter two weeks early and she has been a sheer joy.
My life has been given a huge overhaul. Gone are the days of reaching to the back of Evans clothes railings, searching for the size 32. I've now settled comfortably at a size 14 and while I hope to trim myself down still a little more, I would not be displeased if I stayed a size 14 forever. The world of clothes has opened up to me, I spent such a long time lumping with "whatever fits" that I now have no idea what my "style" is. I feel like a kid in a candy store when I'm confronted with clothes, I don't know what to grab first! A small personal victory was four days after I had my daughter I was trying on a size 14 fitted dress in Dorothy Perkins. A woman passing by looked into my baby's pram, cooed at her and asked how old she was. When I replied that she was four days old she looked me up and down in astonishment and proclaimed that I looked amazing for four days after giving birth. Up until that point the only comment strangers had ever made on my body were far from complimentary, so to have someone say such a positive thing during a time when I felt saggy and baggy made me heart-breakingly happy. When I left the shop I felt as though I was floating on air.
I can do so much more, physically! Back in the old days, walking anywhere seemed like such a chore. Everything would ache, I'd sweat, my face would glow red, people would stare. It was so much easier to just hide away and wait to be ferried around by someone who could drive. Now, I stride out with pride. I walk everywhere I possibly can. I purposely leave items off my shopping list so I have a reason to trek into town and back, just walking for even half an hour clears my mind and makes me feel good. I never understood the people who insisted that exercise makes you feel better but it is so true. I walked three miles a day up until the day before my daughter was born and I truly believe it was the walking which led to me having such a quick and straightforward labour and delivery. The truth is you really don't need an expensive gym membership in order to reach your daily exercise quota. Look all around you, look at the beautiful parks and woodlands just waiting to be discovered for free. Set yourself a target and work towards it, then smash it and make another! You are capable of so much more than you think, it just takes some time to find the truth in that.
Another surprising thing that I have found out about myself is that I actually have willpower. Sometimes I think I might even have too much of it! After all the ups and downs of my journey I have come to the realisation that I did not go through all that I have done just to undo it all by slipping back into old habits. When I'm caught out during a mealtime I will seek out the lowest calorie/highest protein food I can possibly find. Yes, it is a complete wrench not to grab the triple pack of BLT sandwiches winking away in the chiller (and I have been known to agonize over a meal choice for a good half hour) but the healthy stuff always wins out. That is not to say that I don't have the occasional bar of chocolate or slice of cake but I've learned that dreaded word...MODERATION. Filling my fridge with the good options rather than the bad means that when hunger strikes my only option to satiate myself is a good one.
Confidence. Once upon a time I didn't even know the meaning of the word. Confidence was something other people had and I could never own it for myself. Although I still have body hang ups and my loose skin brings me down sometimes, I do have confidence in my appearance. I like the way I look and to hell with the people who don't.
Now here comes the big one. My pre-op and two year post-op comparison photos! I feel sick to my stomach that I am even putting this picture out there but here goes!

The picture on the left was taken four months before I had my surgery.  My husband and I had won a two night stay in a swanky London hotel, it should have been a truly wonderful time.  Instead, it was a nightmare.  I had never felt so uncomfortable and conscious of the way I looked.  Seeing this picture makes me realise just how big I was and it was no wonder people were staring, pointing and laughing.  It was the first time I had visited London and I wanted to see all the sights and visit all the museums.  We visited the Science museum, which I had really looked forward to, but soon after getting there I was exhausted.  Walking for what seemed like miles into each of the underground stations, then walking to the museum left me with little energy to spare on the museum itself.  So after a half-hearted slope around the first floor, I jacked it in and we left.  It also breaks my heart to see this picture.  I can see the sadness in my eyes.  Downtrodden is probably the word needed here.

The picture on the right is me now!