I can't believe it but today I got a call from the hospital letting me know I am going to be having my surgery on June 10th.  It's almost as though my mind knew what was coming and that's why I had such a panic yesterday.  I have an appointment for my pre-op check at the end of this month where they will double check that I'm fit enough for surgery, they might take bloods and will also teach me to self-inject the Fragmin injections to thin my blood and prevent blood clots.  I am going to start the milk diet on the 26th of May so that gives me two weeks and one day to shrink my liver, I thought I would add the extra day seeing as I will be fasting on the day of the surgery. 

I'll be completely honest, when the phone rang today I'm sure I knew deep down this was it.  I have caller ID and usually if a call comes through as a withheld number I will ignore it because it's usually those pesky PPI cold-callers.  Today though I had a feeling that I needed to answer it, I went completely cold when the woman on the other end started talking about dates.  The second I put the phone down I burst into hysterical tears and called Mark to let him know.  He's such a sweet man, he just kept comforting me and telling me that this is what I want and although it's scary it is for the best.  He has booked the surgery day off work, as has my dad and my mum will be with them, I know from experience that waiting for someone in surgery is the hardest part.  When my mum has been ill in the past and in surgery those seven or eight hours can feel like days and if they aren't out exactly when you expected them to be you start to imagine the worst.  It's going to be hard for them, I'm sure, but I know they will stick together and help each other get through it.  I guess I have the easy job, I just have to go for a little snooze!

I called my bariatric nurse today to check whether I will still be able to keep taking my anti-depressants and my contraceptive pill and unfortunately I will have to lose the pill and go on to another form of contraception.  Apparently after surgery because of the malabsorption the pill isn't as effective.  I'm a little bit narked because it took me so long to settle on a pill that helped with my PMT and now I have to start all over again, I may book a visit to the family planning clinic to see what options are available to me.  Just a note, I am not planning on having sex soon after the operation!!!  I just want to keep my periods the way they are and my PMT under control!

My mum and sister came over for a visit this afternoon and it was good to have some company while the shock was still settling in.  It's rather stupid, because from the moment I started this journey I knew that this would be happening and yet the shock of it is no less.  I still feel as though I have been hit by a car.  I'm trying to keep positive but having the date now feels like I'm counting down until my last days.  I shouldn't be thinking that, I should be seeing it as a countdown to my rebirth, the turning point where everything starts looking up and I can enjoy life to the fullest.  The support group on Facebook has been a lifesaver these past couple of days, I really needed the input of people who have been here before to keep me on the straight and narrow.  It's hard to imagine that come christmas I could be half the woman I am today!